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THE BEACH BUM

March 29, 2019 By 1 Comment

THE BEACH BUM

There are precisely two redeeming features in Harmony Korine’s latest work, THE BEACH BUM. One, and I don’t care if this is a spoiler or not, the cat is just fine as the end credits roll. Two, Martin Lawrence as the dolphin-loving Captain Whack. He’s so good, in fact, that one hopes for a spin-off… Read More »

Tagged With: burn-out, fanny pack, Key West, Miami, Razzie-worthy

THE NUN

September 8, 2018 By Leave a Comment

THE NUN

The decline and fall of franchises is a phenomenon that is all too common, and yet still heartbreaking in its own way. For every James Bond or Star Wars, there are countless other series that started strong, usually with a film that was a one-off, the success of which led to studio bean-counters to push… Read More »

Tagged With: abbey, cloister, horror, nuns, Razzie-worthy, Romania, sequel

I FEEL PRETTY

April 20, 2018 By Leave a Comment

I FEEL PRETTY

Amy Schumer.  What the hell happened?  Blazing into theaters with TRAINWRECK, a film that gleefully subverted rom-coms with extreme prejudice, she is now flailing through I FEEL PRETTY, her second disaster in a row. That both of them (the other was SNATCHED) were the very genre she set on fire is an irony that, perhaps,… Read More »

Tagged With: cosmetics industry, Razzie-worthy, self-esteem. cosmetics

THE DARK TOWER

August 5, 2017 By Leave a Comment

THE DARK TOWER

Intermittently garrulous, yet generally somnambulant, THE DARK TOWER disappoints on almost every level.  Based on the Stephen King series of the same name, the cinematic version blows a kiss to the novels, then goes its own way plot-wise for reasons that defy explanation, unless it’s a scheme similar to the one in Mel Brooks’ classic… Read More »

Tagged With: alternate universes, apocalypse, based on Stephen King novels, book to screen, nightmares, portals, Razzie-worthy, shining

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

June 24, 2016 By Leave a Comment

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE was released here in San Francisco without a press screening. And for good reason. I’m putting The Golden Raspberry Awards Foundation on notice that we might have a new frontrunner for next year’s Razzies. We begin on the eponymous holiday.  Twenty years have passed since Steve Hiller (Will Smith, appearing in this… Read More »

Tagged With: African war lord, alien invasion, Area 51, auditor, bomb, cannons, coma, moon base, President, Razzie-worthy, sequel

GROWN UPS

October 21, 2014 By Leave a Comment

GROWN UPS

The pain of watching a shlocky film is trivial compared to the torture of sitting through a shlocky film that has convinced itself that it has a message beyond being awful. The latter is the experience of GROWN UPS, a dismal interlude that in the first 10 minutes establishes that men are idiots, women are… Read More »

Tagged With: Adam Sandler, bad comedy, dreck, egregious product placement, Razzie-worthy

VIEW FROM THE TOP

October 21, 2014 By Leave a Comment

VIEW FROM THE TOP

There is a cautionary tale from old Hollywood about ticking off the head of your studio. John Gilbert, a huge star of the silent screen, once punched out the lights of Louis B Mayer. Now, in all honesty, Jack was under a little emotional strain having just been stood up at the altar by Greta… Read More »

Tagged With: airline, bad clothes, bad makeup, big hair, dreck, flight attendant, Razzie-worthy

WHITE NOISE

October 21, 2014 By Leave a Comment

WHITE NOISE

As I sit and tap out these words on my computer, it is January 4, 2005 and I have just seen WHITE NOISE, a prime contender for NEXT year’s Razzie Award. It is inept, it is inane, and it is seemingly interminable. And why shouldn’’t it be? The people behind this dreck thought it would… Read More »

Tagged With: EVP, paranormal, Razzie-worthy, talking with the dead, VCR

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