Click here for the flashback interview with director Adam Shankman for ROCK OF AGES.
STOP! THAT! TRAIN! continues the fine tradition of AIRPLANE! and POLICE SQUAD delivering so many jokes per second that the sheer volume becomes the best joke of all. That’s saying a great deal for a film that is a drag queen free-for-all led by none other than the queeniest queen herself, RuPaul. The aesthetic is excess, the mood is raunchy, and the vibe is a tongue-in-cheek pushing so far that it might result in a new piercing.
Our heroines are Dee Dee (Jujubee) and Tess (Ginger Minj) best pals since their Train Hostess Academy days. When they suddenly lose their jobs at Stank Rail (servicing Six Flags Over Guantanamo Bay), they find that rather than a setback, it’s a launching pad to live their dream of seeing America. That would be courtesy of The Glamazonian Express, which, thanks to loss of hostesses there due to Swiss twins, finds itself in dire need of replacements and fast. The upgrade to wasteful excess and tasteful lighting come with two consequences. One is a the brewing Stormaganza involving hail, hurricane, and tornadoes; the other is a run-in with the mean girls from the Academy, Amber (Brock Hayhoe), Alli (Marty Lauter) and Ayshleiygh (Symone), the divas who made Tess and Dee Dee’s school days so hellish. On the upside, however, there is Cal (Brian Jordan Alvarez), the hunky but dim co-conductor who has stolen Dee Dee’s heart with looks so good that not even the blank stare of constant bemusement can dimmish the impact.
Meanwhile, nerdy Donna Dusk (Rachel Bloom) back at Train Headquarters has discovered the killer weather pattern threatening the Express with massive loss of life, a discovery that elicits the general mockery of her co-workers, and not because of the unfortunate mix of patterns in her ensemble. Further meanwhile, President Judy Gagwell (RuPaul), elected with the slogan “She Fun”, is suffering hot flashbacks to her Rail Force days, and a loss of popularity as the bullet trains speeds its way to certain doom with no brakes and a conductor (Chris Parnell) sidelined by an emotional support scorpion.
Naturally, disaster movie tropes come in for a drubbing with sight gags and puns that erupt with glee before giving way to the next non-sequitur or double-entendre. Topping that is the sublime camp of female archetypes unfettered and unfazed by that ci-mentioned impending doom. Hence, the safety instructions involve a production number and in case of disaster, there are emergency sequins that are the first line of defense (and passenger morale). Jujubee and Minj are the perky embodiment of 60s rom-com exuberance with perfect flips and can-do attitudes that somehow work on many levels, from parody to a surprising emotional resonance. The mean girls, brittle blondes with stares that could kill and then eviscerate, are perfection as the villains you love to hate. As for RuPaul, she’s RuPaul, melodrama personified with a wink at the audience including us all in the joke while reminding us that drag is an art form inspired by the divine.
The passengers/running jokes include a famous actress no one recognizes (Sarah Michelle Geller); a child-hater (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) stuck next to a woman (Mayan Lopez) about to give birth because of course she is; a pompous (non-drag) queen (Drew Droege) strewing condescension and eye-rolls in his wake; a newly divorced woman (Missi Pyle) tying cherry stems into propositions as she is on the prowl for a quickie; Lisa Rinna being Lisa Rinna, and others too numerous to recount. Of special note, Matt Rogers as the rubber-faced presidential press secretary who may be just a little willing to go beyond his job description in his devotion to Gagwell.
STOP! THAT! TRAIN! is, suitably, a juggernaut of silliness and re-purposed clichés meant to delight and divert. If you want to read anything more into a presidential press conference where reporters who press too hard are removed by force, that’s up to you. Either way, this is the tonic (and sequins) that we all need right now.
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