For a prime example of Hollywood’s dearth of imagination one need look no further than STEALTH, a derivative bit of drivel whose makers obviously thought firestorms and really fast planes are all it takes to make a film worth seeing. It steals in equal parts from Star Trek (TOS: THE ULTIMATE COMPUTER) and Knight Rider… Read More »
BROTHERS GRIMM, THE
The original stories of THE BROTHERS GRIMM were the folk tales that the fraternal pair, linguists by trade (Grimm’s Law of Phonetic Transformation has always made me weak in the knees), collected from the peasants in the countryside of the German-speaking world. They were dark, they were dangerous, and they were unforgettable. Full of archetypes… Read More »
INTO THE BLUE
Hard bodies, blue water, and a passel of music video moments strung together into the running time of a motion picture is what INTO THE BLUE is all about. It may silly, but at least it’s not offensive. The bodies in the persons of Jessica Alba and Paul Walker are taut and toned to perfection.… Read More »
SCORPION KING, THE
To their credit, the people behind THE SCORPION KING knew exactly what they were dealing with producing a movie starring The Rock. No, its not one of the Pillars of Hercules, but rather a wrestling superstar who, now that I think of it, does rather have those monumental proportions. They tailored the script to take advantage… Read More »
JARHEAD
The history of the military film has had several notable eras, from the melancholy of THE BIG PARADE (featuring the divine John Gilbert in arguably his best role) from the post WWI, silent era, to the jingoistic excesses during and just after WWII with such offerings as an iconic John Wayne THE FLYING LEATHERNECKS, followed… Read More »
16 BLOCKS
Think of 16 BLOCKS as Bruce Willis’ transition film. It’s as though now that he is gamely moving towards his golden years, he is also gamely moving beyond the action films that filled his cinematic oeuvre and bedeviled those who had to endure them when he kept making them even after they had reached the… Read More »
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 asks the cinematic question, “Why wander away inconspicuously from the scene of the latest mission when you can speed away at full throttle on the Tiber River?” It’s a spy fantasy and the answers to questions like that, and there are lots of them throughout the needless running time of over two hours,… Read More »
POSEIDON
POSEIDON so whole-heartedly embraces its essential inanity that it’s very, very hard to dislike it. Though boasting a big budget and some spiffy special effects, its goal is a modest one: kill 99 minutes with some whiz-bang escapes and the chance to watch actors get paid a great deal of money to hold their breath… Read More »
DISTRICT B13
There will be no film cooler than DISTRICT B13 released between now and Labor Day, and by the end of this particular season, I would not be surprised if it doesn’t turn out to be THE coolest film of the summer. It starts at a fever pitch of rushing adrenalin and from there goes into… Read More »
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN — DEAD MAN’S CHEST
The original PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL offered up the unexpected delight of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, a joyfully addled pirate redux. He shared top billing with his co-stars, Orlando Bloom as the stalwart Will Turner and Keira Knightly as the plucky Elizabeth Swann, but it was Depp… Read More »
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