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CABRINI

March 8, 2024 By Leave a Comment

CABRINI

CABRINI is a handsome throwback to the hagiographies done so well by Hollywood in the 1940s and 1950s. Replete with luxurious cinematography worthy of anything to be found in a fine arts museum, it is fueled by a passionate, coolly confidant performance by Cristiana Dell’Anna as Mother Cabrini, America’s first saint. Amid the expected, and… Read More »

Tagged With: based on a true tory, Five Points, immigration, liberation theology, Mother Cabrini, New York City, orphanage, saint, Tammany Hall, Vatican

MADAME WEB

February 13, 2024 By Leave a Comment

MADAME WEB

The short version about MADAM WEB is this. No. Just no. Seriously. No. The long version is this. After spending 1 hour and 57 minutes with MADAME WEB, the word that floats to mind is insipid. Written by a committee, and showing all that is wrong with that approach, it flouts any sense of logic,… Read More »

Tagged With: Amazon, arachnologist, facial recognition software, insipid, peptides, Peru, plot holes abound, shamans, spider venom, spiders

THE MONK AND THE GUN

February 13, 2024 By Leave a Comment

THE MONK AND THE GUN

Sooner or later, everyone in THE MONK AND THE GUN asks the obvious question. What would a monk want with a gun?  The monk in this case is a Bhutanese Buddhist Lama, and he is about to break his meditation retreat two years early in order to perform a ritual that will need one.  Actually,… Read More »

Tagged With: abdication, Bhutan, Buddhist lama, democracy, gun enthusiast, lost in translation

MEAN GIRLS: THE MUSICAL

February 3, 2024 By Leave a Comment

MEAN GIRLS: THE MUSICAL

As we are warned in the opening number of MEAN GIRLS, this is a cautionary tale of lust, greed, and corruption. What we are not warned about is the seductive power of being the eponymous Queen Bee of the high school clique hierarchy. That is the real story, though screenwriter Tina Fey, who co-stars as… Read More »

Tagged With: boyfriend, cliques, high school, musical, outcasts, plastic, remake, revenge

NIGHT SWIM

January 7, 2024 By Leave a Comment

NIGHT SWIM

What a stunningly dull excuse for a horror film. NIGHT SWIM, based on a short film of the same name, demonstrates that not every promising short can successfully be expanded into a feature-length opus by the original filmmakers. It’s so narratively lackadaisical that whatever premise held the promise of more-is-better is completely lost. What we… Read More »

Tagged With: bloated mass, haunted swimming pool, insipid dialogue, ooky sludge, suburbia

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

December 25, 2023 By Leave a Comment

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

GODZILLA: MINUS ONE returns to the original, post-war iteration of the iconic kaiju. Not with the special effects that bring the mountainous monster to life, but rather with the zeitgeist of those times fueled by the sense of futility over the war just lost, and the conviction that the government had betrayed its people. As… Read More »

Tagged With: atomic testing, frothy hairstyle, Godzilla, kaiju, kamikaze pilot, mines, nifty science, post-war Japan, Tokyo

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

December 23, 2023 By Leave a Comment

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM is a tired pastiche of the super-hero/sci-fi genre most notable for being a perfect distillation of the phenomenon known as “super-hero fatigue”. Smothered by its been-there, seen-that vibe, it presents little to recommend it beyond Randall Park as both the embodiment of egregious exposition and the voice of reason. He… Read More »

Tagged With: climate change, kludgy rewrites, sequel, super hero fatigue, underwater, vengeance

THE MARVELS

November 11, 2023 By Leave a Comment

THE MARVELS

There is one thing you can say for sure about THE MARVELS.  There is a whole lot of it, and most of it involves overwrought CGI effects. They are beautifully executed, but eventually become tiresome, not just for the repetitive nature of the fight sequences, but also for the sheer scale, which starts at 11… Read More »

Tagged With: cuff braclets, entanglement, floating kittens, Jersey City, MCU, New Jersey, out space, overwrought CGI, sequel

THE CREATOR

September 29, 2023 By Leave a Comment

THE CREATOR

For such a thoughtful film, THE CREATOR is curiously underwritten. Building to several emotional crescendos during its two hours and thirteen minutes of running time, the intended resonance is, alas, subsumed by the spotty nature of a narrative that proceeds gamely from one set piece to another without giving us much in the way of… Read More »

Tagged With: AI, laser curtains from the sky, near future, NOMAD, robots, simulants, spirituality

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

September 15, 2023 By Leave a Comment

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

A HAUNTING IN VENICE finds master detective Hercule Poirot (director Kenneth Branagh) in a somber mood. Two world wars and first-hand knowledge of the evil that men (and women) do have prompted him to become a virtual recluse in Venice, where swarms of eager would-be clients are forcefully rebuffed by the formidable bodyguard (Vincenzo Di… Read More »

Tagged With: Agatha Christie, dark and stormy night, haunted palazzo, medium, seance, shell-shock, suicide, Venice, whodunnit

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